15 February 2010

lameness

McDonald's is my new Flying Star. It's the same internet, the same molecule formation of two hydrogens and an oxygen that makes up my water, it's the same tunes coming out of my headphones and the salad is only $1. Yeah, and it's the only place in Moberly that is open late with a free wi-fi connection.

OH wow, McDonald's. I should be at home surfing channels. This place is horrible. I'm getting tired too. My cammomile tea is making me sleepy. Postal Service isn't helping either. I need to get home.

I feel like there's so much on my mind, but I can't find a way to transport it through my arms to my fingers and into this computer. I need an outlet. I feel trapped by myself. Life is so weird! What is going on? I'm in Missouri. I'm married. I work at Starbucks. I have a college degree that I don't think I deserve. Can I just find happiness? I know happiness is in love. Love is our goal as humans, and if it's not then we are living a very unfulfilled life. So happiness is God. Happiness is my wife. Happiness is the people who care about me. They bring love. It's so hard to just collect myself and settle down. There are so many distractions. Disturbing things are going on all of the time. Death is scary. I was watching the Olympic games and they showed the video of that luger who died in the crash. He died, and I watched it. That's scary. We all cease to exist. We all know that. And it's a race to find out some meaning before we cross that finish line that is death. I don't like thinking about dying.

I think I'm going to go home now. McDonald's food is nasty.

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