Humility

It's Saturday! I should be lesson planning. Well, there's always Sunday. Besides, it's been a long week. Saturday is for recoup.

This morning we went to a health screening for my dang health insurance. They say that I'll get a discount because...


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The last two paragraphs were written several hours ago. I'm continuing the same writing now. I'm in my "office" at home reflecting on the day. It's definitely been a day. Lots of questions asked today. Questions about my life. Faith. Parenting. Teaching. Marriage. Questions that can't be immediately answered. I know that anything that's worth anything takes time. It takes patience. It takes diligence. It takes steadfastness. It takes practice. It requires tenacity. Giving up can't be an option. I'm thinking of all the cheesy motivational posters... But, it's true. I have to hang on even when things become challenging. I have to push on. Parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. I'm finding out that teaching is hard. Being a damn human is hard! It's also rewarding. But, that's not why we're in this--for the rewards. I don't think you can be. Rewards don't come along very often. I mean, maybe they do for some. My kids are here every day. Are they a reward? A reward is something that is earned, I think. I don't think I earned my kids.

My kids are amazing and I love them with all my heart. They are a gift. They give me joy. They also bring me frustration. Especially my 3 year old. I love this little boy to pieces. He's just so damn strong willed and stubborn. Potty training is pure heck for us. He's smart enough to go potty on his own. I've seen him do it. He just doesn't want to. It's hard! And extremely frustrating! He's like a ticking time-bomb. Any little thing can set him off. It can be something as simple as asking him if he wants a snack. Or giving him something to drink. I hand him a toy the wrong way. I walk across the room in a way that isn't pleasing to him. I think that's just him being a normal preschooler.

My boy loves me back, though. And that just makes my heart melt. One time, we went to the zoo and as we were leaving, I was carrying him on my shoulders. Randomly, he just said, "I love you, Dada". It wasn't prompted. I didn't have to ask him. I didn't tell him I loved him first. We were just walking in the parking lot and he was on my shoulders... "I love you, Dada". I responded, "I love you too, Buddy".

A reward? I don't know.

Christianity teaches to be selfless. To do things because of love.

It's difficult to do, sometimes. I mean, all the time.

So, press on. Never give up. Love. I'm working on it. Frustrations are there. Frustrations with marriage. Frustrations with parenting. Frustrations with work.

Christianity also teaches humility. Man, I thought I had this down. But the second you think you're humble, you're not. How funny. I am full of pride. This very moment.

Drink a Beer

I'd like to think I have a lot of good things to say. Teaching will be the true test, I suppose. It's been a real interesting couple of weeks, to say the least! But, now it's the weekend. I'm trying to find my bearings.

I'm happy, I guess. There are some things I would love to work on in my life. There's always something to work on. I want to improve on my writing skills for one. This blog is my practice. Like now. I want to write about whatever comes to mind.

In my class, I start the class of with a journal. I think writing skills are important, and I want to teach that to them. I will read an article and I expect my class to respond to the article I read. Sometimes it's difficult for a 7th or 8th grader to get started on responding, so I'll ask a question about the article and I'll write it on the chalk board. Even after the question, some of my students will have a hard time getting started. At this point, I'll go and ask more questions, then they'll verbalize an opinion. Then, I'll encourage them to write down the thoughts they just spoke to me on their paper.

I want to practice what I preach. This blog can be where I do that...practice my writing.

I don't have a news article. I do have today, though.

Today, I listened to the Bad Christian Podcast interview with Mike Herrera. Well, I've listened to most of it. I still have a bit to listen to. So far, it's been really cool. Cool is too vague of a word. Maybe insightful. Profound. Soul-seeking. Eye-opening. (I'm trying to broaden my vocabulary, as well. Because, you know, practice what you preach). So, it's Mike Herrera. MxPx. Pretty much the band that shaped who I am today. I'm not sure who I'd be if I didn't start listening to MxPx my sophomore year in high school. Punk rock resonated with me... And I happened to be a Christian, so it was a match made in heaven. Christian punk was my thing, and Mike Herrera was my hero. Fast forward to 3 or 4 years ago (??) I caught wind of Mike Herrera dumping his faith. I guess I didn't think too much of it at first. It's his journey, and he lost his faith. ...

It made me feel a bit abandoned. Which is crazy. I don't even know this man. I mean, I know his music, so I guess I have a bond with him even though he has no clue who I am. When he left Christianity, I felt like our team lost a star member. This is so insane! Why did I feel that way? Mike Herrera is no longer professing to be a Christian. Does that make my Christianity less valid. Strangely, it kinda felt like it. But, Mike Herrera isn't Jesus. I admire the man because of his music and the impact his music had and still has on me.

The interview was great, though. I love the Bad Christian Podcast. The dudes are all Southern and have a sense of humor that I can relate to. They laugh, they joke around, they love Jesus, and they question their faith. I like it. I don't want to be a blind-faith Christian, and these guys talk about all the things I wonder about. I think I relate to Matt the most, but the things that Toby says make me laugh out loud, like LOL, literally.

But back to the point. Mike on their podcast. They asked the question I wanted to ask. "Why did you leave Christianity?" His response surprised me. I got the idea that he really didn't leave, but that he's still on his spiritual journey. That struck a chord with me...a guy who is just following the believe that was given to me by my parents. I want to think for myself, but I want to be objective. I want my belief to be real, to be genuine. I don't want to just have a team that I root for. Mike's not on my team. The Bad Christian Podcast is not on my team. We're all on our spiritual journeys...

It's been a long week. I'm going to stop writing and I'm going to drink a beer.

I'm a Teacher

My last blog post sucked. Sorry to say, this will be another sucky blog post. I've got a MacBook Pro! Yeah, it's an older one. I think from 2012. Wait... Yeah. It's from 2012.

I like it a lot! I really don't know that I'll install any apps on it. I'll probably just use the web browser like I did on my Chromebook. "Why did you buy that damn thing?", you might ask. I didn't buy it. They are loaning it to me. "They" being my employer. I'm a teacher now, and they think I need a laptop, apparently. I'm actually surprised by my new job. Every teacher has a MacBook or MacBook pro. The computer lab is filled with iMacs (do they still call them iMacs?), and every classroom has 3 Macintosh computers. I thought these computers were expensive! Well. They are. I guess I just expected Windows machines. 

But the computer I'm typing on right now really isn't important. I'm a teacher now. This is crazy to me. It's up to me to teach ~125 7th and 8th grade students. I'm excited! I have a ton to learn. I've learned so much in just two days with students.