Why Would Anyone Ever Move Here?

I’ve been telling little stories about my life in this blog. I’m not sure who will ever read these. Probably not very many. Who uses Blogger anymore? I’m actually surprised that Google hasn’t killed it like they have most of their other projects. 

Anyway, I’ve been focusing on my life in Santa Fe. Maybe I’ll jump back to it as those memories come back. Right now, I’d like to remember in writing my move from Santa Fe to the East Mountains. 

I shouldn’t say “East Mountains”. If you’re from Moriarty and someone asks you where you’re from, you say “East Mountains”. Moriarty was not a very glamorous town. Lots of poverty. Lots of vacant land. A few truck stops. The public schools where all of the East Mountain kids went to. 

I guess I should define “East Mountains”. East Mountains are the small communities east of the Sandia Mountains.

(google earth image)

I would consider Sandia Park, Cedar Crest, Tijeras, Edgewood…and Moriarty is a stretch. I think the only reason people would consider Moriarty “East Mountains” is because of the school system. All of the Edgewood and Tijeras kids (well, not all, some go to Manzano, but I digress), go to Moriarty High School. 

Okay. That’s that. 

Since I’m being honest, I’ll say that we moved to Moriarty. Okay. I lied again. We moved to Indian Hills. Nobody who lives in Indian Hills admits they live in Indian Hills. At least I don’t. Checkmate, I guess. I just did. 

The move. 

I didn’t really want to leave Santa Fe. My personality went with the flow, though. I don’t remember raising a ruckus about it. Santa Fe was great, as I remember it. My grandpa, who I loved, lived next door. I would spend hours at his house studying maps, watching him play his harp, or practicing his vocal exercises. Santa Fe reminds me of him. 

My parents felt they needed to move. My grandma and step-grandpa(?) were already living there. My aunt and uncle moved there. I had a few other aunts who also packed up and left Santa Fe and moved there. I imagine it was for the cheap housing and land. I wasn’t aware of the reason as a young kid. Looking back, I can’t imagine why anyone would choose to move to Moriarty. 

They did, though. 

My grandma lived in a house. An actual house. This is an important detail when you talk about homes in Moriarty. Many of the homes in Moriarty are of the mobile variety. I would venture to guess that the mobile homes outnumber the “actual” houses–especially in communities like Indian Hills. 

Moving on. Grandma and Grandpa lived in a house. My aunt and uncle lived in a doublewide off of the main stip next to my uncle’s auto body shop. (I will add, that the doublewides were considered sort of luxury.) My other aunt and uncle lived in an apartment in what I remember to be the only apartment complex in the town. My other aunt lived in a small doublewide, not as luxurious as my other aunt with the body shop. 

Yes, I’ve got a lot of aunts. Four aunts, and two uncles. Of those aunts and uncles, three aunts and one uncle moved to Moriarty about the same time. 

Forgot about my one uncle, he lived in an “actual” house in the town of Moriarty. 

It was a migration. One that I don’t understand to this day… home ownership and cheap land is all I can imagine. 

Life was different. No plaza walks with my grandpa. Much less walking, period. Santa Fe was very walkable. As a young kid, I’d walk to school, I’d walk to the community center, I’d walk to friends’ houses in the neighborhood. Moriarty wasn’t like this. There was much more dirt, a lot less pavement, and you needed a bike at minimum. Even then, you’d be on your bike for a long time to get to your friends’ houses. Oh, and you had to navigate dirt roads with no sidewalk. 

The school bus ride? Forget about it. My elementary school was sort of close, in Moriarty terms. Three and a half miles, as the crow flies. The bus had to pick up everyone in my “neighborhood”, and this meant lots of time spent on the bus. I remember the bus picking me up around 6:30 am, and we’d weave in and out of these rural dirt roads to then eventually drop us off at school to start our day. 

If it rained or snowed, we’d navigate the mud and snow. Most of the time it was just dusty. We got to see a lot of Indian Hills on the bus ride. 

Middle school was when the bus ride was really tough. I was picked up at 5:50 am (about). We would circle the Indian Hills dirt roads, then head down Martinez Road and make our way to Echo Ridge and pick up all the kids there. 

I was always tired. 

And talk about a depressing ride. Lots of dirt. Lots of mud if it rained. Lots of bumps. Lots of kids living in conditions that were just horrible. Poverty. It’s not a pleasant memory, to be honest. 

Well… I don’t know what else I can say about all this. I guess I’ll wrap up this memory with another memory. I’d miss the bus on occasion. Understandable since the dang thing arrived so early in the morning. If I missed the bus, I had another opportunity to catch the bus. It meant running across our two acres, into the field south of our property, and to the other bus stop on a rural dirt road. As the crow flies 🐦‍⬛, four tenths of a mile. I’d start my morning at 6:00 am with a nice sprint.

The Toyota Prius is a Pretty Neat Car

For the past couple of weeks I have not been able to stop thinking about the Toyota Prius transmission. 

Your typical transmission, according to my limited knowledge, has a number of gears. Those gears are engaged depending on the speed your vehicle is traveling.  Most cars have an automatic transmission, meaning that those gears are changed automatically for you. Manual transmissions require the operator to change those gears...manually. 

Backing up a bit. Again, according to my limited knowledge, a transmission is a mechanical component of the vehicle that allows the delivery of the energy generated from the motor to the wheels of the vehicle. 

Toyota Prius, at least the fourth generation that I researched, has a eCVT (electronically controlled continuously variable transmission). 

I was going to try my hand at trying to explain it. But, instead. I'll leave these three resources: a reddit thread where the redditors share my enthusiasm for this piece of engineering, a YouTube video where the YouTuber explains this concept... and I think that's it. 

I am really fascinated with the car itself. I used ChatGPT to compile some ideas and fact checked it with Copilot. There might be some errors here, but I thought it was some cool information about this little vehicle. It's packed with some really great engineering. 

Anyway, here's the AI info: 

# Understanding the Fourth Generation Toyota Prius Hybrid System




The Toyota Prius stands as a testament to automotive innovation, being one of the first mass-produced hybrid vehicles. Its unique combination of a gasoline engine and electric motors offers an eco-friendly driving experience. Let's delve into the specifics of its hybrid system.




## Gasoline Engine: The Heart of the Prius

The Prius is powered by a **1.8-liter four-cylinder gasoline engine**, known for its efficiency. This engine, referred to as the **2ZR-FXE**, is designed to work in harmony with the electric motor, providing power and recharging the battery simultaneously.




### Engine Specifications and Technology

- **Displacement**: 1,798 cc, indicating the engine's size and air intake capacity.

- **Bore x Stroke**: 80.5 mm x 88.3 mm, determining the engine's total displacement and influencing power and torque.

- **Compression Ratio**: 13.0:1, enhancing fuel efficiency and performance.

- **Power Output**: 95-148 hp (71-110 kW) at 5200-6600 rpm, measuring the engine's ability to perform work over time.

- **Torque**: 105-129 lb-ft (142-175 Nm) at 3600-4400 rpm, reflecting the engine's capability to turn the wheels and accelerate the vehicle.




#### Advanced Technologies of the 2ZR-FXE Engine

- **Atkinson Cycle**: The 2ZR-FXE operates on the Atkinson cycle, which delays the closure of the intake valves, allowing a portion of the air-fuel mixture to return to the intake manifold. This results in a smaller effective compression stroke and a longer power stroke, improving thermal efficiency.

- **Variable Valve Timing**: Equipped with VVT-i for the intake camshaft only, it optimizes valve timing for various driving conditions to improve performance and fuel economy.

- **Cooled EGR System**: The engine features a cooled exhaust gas recirculation system that reduces nitrogen oxide emissions and improves fuel efficiency by lowering the combustion temperature.




#### Engine Operation and Design

- **Seamless Start and Stop**: The engine can start and stop almost imperceptibly, thanks to the integrated starter-generator (MG1) that provides smooth and quick starts.

- **Transition to Electric Motor**: When the vehicle requires less power or is in electric vehicle mode, the gasoline engine can shut off, allowing the electric motor (MG2) to propel the vehicle, reducing fuel consumption and emissions.

- **Power Split Device**: This device allows the Prius to operate on the gasoline engine, electric motor, or both. It also enables the engine to charge the battery while providing propulsion.




#### Engineering Feats

- **Lightweight Pistons**: Pistons with resin-coated skirts and oil jets for cooling contribute to reduced friction and improved efficiency.

- **Aluminum Construction**: The use of aluminum for the cylinder block and head helps reduce the engine's weight, enhancing fuel economy.

- **Chain-Driven Camshafts**: The timing chain is maintenance-free and provides reliable operation throughout the engine's lifespan.




#### Additional Technical Insights

- **Fuel System**: The 2ZR-FXE uses a multi-point fuel injection system, which delivers fuel directly to the intake valve of each cylinder for more precise control and efficient combustion.

- **Engine Management**: An advanced engine control unit (ECU) manages the engine's operations, adjusting parameters such as fuel delivery, ignition timing, and valve timing to optimize performance and efficiency.

- **Environmental Standards**: The engine meets stringent emission standards, such as Euro 6, which underscores Toyota's dedication to minimizing the environmental impact of their vehicles.




## Electric Motors: Silent and Efficient Power

Toyota's hybrid system includes a dual motor-generator setup, with **MG1** and **MG2** serving distinct purposes. **MG1** (model 1SM) primarily acts as a generator, while **MG2** (model 1NM) drives the wheels with an output of **53 kW (71 horsepower)**. For the all-wheel-drive (AWD-e) models, an additional rear motor offers **5 kW (6.7 horsepower)**.




## Seamless Operation: The Power-Split Device

At the core of the Prius's drivetrain is the **power-split device**, which integrates the operation of the gasoline engine and electric motors. This system uses a planetary gearset to distribute power efficiently, allowing for different driving modes and optimal energy use.




## Regenerative Braking: Energy Conservation

The Prius harnesses kinetic energy during braking through its **regenerative braking system**. This innovative feature transforms the electric motor into a generator, capturing energy that would otherwise be lost and storing it in the battery.




## Transmission: The Heartbeat of Efficiency

The Prius employs an **electronically controlled continuously variable transmission (eCVT)**, which is the vehicle's innovative transmission system. The eCVT operates on a system of pulleys and a belt or chain, allowing for an infinite number of effective gear ratios. This design eliminates the need for fixed gears, providing a seamless driving experience.




### How eCVT Works:

- **Planetary Gearset**: The eCVT's planetary gearset facilitates power transfer and allows for simultaneous input from the gasoline engine and electric motors.

- **Motor-Generator Units**: Two motor-generator units, MG1 and MG2, work together to start the engine, drive the wheels, and generate electricity during regenerative braking.

- **Power Split Device**: This device manages the power flow between the engine and electric motors, adjusting the "gear" ratio continuously.

- **Electronic Control Unit (ECU)**: The ECU orchestrates the entire system, ensuring optimal efficiency and performance.




### Advantages of eCVT:

- **Fuel Efficiency**: The eCVT's ability to continuously adjust gear ratios contributes to the Prius's exceptional fuel economy.

- **Smooth Operation**: Drivers enjoy a smooth ride without the abrupt gear changes found in conventional transmissions.

- **Reduced Emissions**: The efficient operation of the eCVT leads to lower emissions, aligning with the Prius's eco-friendly ethos.




## Hybrid Synergy Drive: The Complete System

Toyota's **Hybrid Synergy Drive** is the overarching technology that brings together the gasoline engine, electric motors, and eCVT. It's a sophisticated system that ensures the Prius operates efficiently, whether it's in electric-only mode, gasoline-only mode, or a combination of both.




## Nickel-Metal Hydride Battery: Reliable and Efficient Energy Storage




The Toyota Prius is equipped with a nickel-metal hydride (NiMH) battery pack, chosen for its reliability, longevity, and energy density. Here's why it's used:




- **Proven Technology**: NiMH batteries have a long track record of use in hybrid vehicles and are known for their durability and safety¹¹.

- **Efficient Energy Storage**: NiMH batteries offer a good balance between energy density and power output, making them well-suited for storing and delivering the energy needed to power the Prius's electric motor¹³.

- **Cost-Effectiveness**: Compared to other battery chemistries like lithium-ion, NiMH batteries are generally more cost-effective, contributing to the Prius's overall affordability¹¹.




## TNGA (Toyota New Global Architecture): Enhancing Performance and Efficiency




The Toyota New Global Architecture (TNGA) platform underpins the Prius




, providing a solid foundation for its hybrid system and enhancing its performance and efficiency. Here's how TNGA benefits the Prius:




- **Modular Design**: TNGA's modular platform allows for greater flexibility in vehicle design, enabling Toyota to optimize the Prius's layout for hybrid drivetrain components and battery placement⁶.

- **Improved Handling**: By lowering the vehicle's center of gravity and optimizing weight distribution, TNGA enhances the Prius's handling and stability, providing a more engaging driving experience⁸.

- **Enhanced Safety**: TNGA's structural rigidity and advanced safety features contribute to the Prius's excellent crashworthiness and occupant protection, ensuring peace of mind for drivers and passengers alike⁶.




## Aerodynamics: Maximizing Efficiency and Performance




The Toyota Prius boasts a sleek and aerodynamic design that minimizes air resistance and maximizes fuel efficiency. Here's how its aerodynamics contribute to its overall performance:




- **Streamlined Exterior**: The Prius's exterior features a smooth and flowing design, with aerodynamic lines and contours that reduce drag and turbulence at high speeds.

- **Coefficient of Drag**: With a drag coefficient of just **0.24**, the Prius is designed to slip through the air efficiently, which is instrumental in achieving its remarkable fuel efficiency⁴.

- **Active Aero Enhancements**: Advanced aerodynamic features, such as aero stabilizing fins, vortex generators, and underbody panels, further optimize airflow around the vehicle, improving stability and fuel economy.

- **Efficient Cooling**: Strategic placement of air intakes and cooling ducts helps regulate engine and battery temperatures while minimizing aerodynamic drag, ensuring optimal performance under all driving conditions.




The low coefficient of drag is a testament to the Prius's design, which is engineered to reduce the aerodynamic drag force acting on the vehicle. This reduction in drag force directly contributes to the Prius's ability to achieve high fuel efficiency by decreasing the amount of energy required to overcome air resistance, especially at highway speeds.

My Food Stamps Memories (some of them)

 My blog posts have always been very random. All over the place. Like, "what on Earth are you talking about, Lorenzo??" Yeah, I'm going to keep with that theme. 

I've got a note that says my next topic should be "being on food stamps and C02 emissions". Maybe, I'll just combine the two and make a post on both. I'll try to connect them in a way. 

Let's just start with being on food stamps. In fact, I think I'll save the randomness and write about the C02 emissions in a later blog post. Or, better still, I'll record a Curious Lorenzo podcast episode on it. 

Okay, so here we go. Being on food stamps. It's something I don't love to talk about, but part of my life still. I'll start with my earliest memory of food stamps. I remember going to the grocery store with my family and a parent, maybe my mom, using food stamps to pay for the food. I can't confirm this, but it was more than likely at the grocery store that is now Natural Grocers on the corner of Cordova and St. Francis in Santa Fe. (I'm not sure why location in my memories are so important, but they are.)

I remember the cashier checking us out, and my mom (or maybe another family member, the memory is not perfect) pulling out a booklet of papers, and the family member handing that paper to the cashier. 

We left with our groceries and I didn't think twice about the interaction. Just observed it. 

That's my first experience with food stamps. 

I guess I can talk a bit about what food was like at my house as a kid before I talk about my next experience with food stamps. 

Food was always available. I don't remember being hungry or without food. As a kid, I remember a few food items that stand out. We had bacon. Cereal. I remember digging through the box to find the toy in the box. I remember milk. 

I remember my mom making beans in the pressure cooker. That thing was scary, spewing steam and hissing at me. I wasn't sure if the pressure cooker would explode hot beans all over the room. 

I remember my mom's fresh tortillas. Making tortillas was quite the event. My mom had to prep the kitchen, and she'd wrap a towel around her head. I imagine to keep her hair out of her face and out of the masa. She'd then mix all the ingredients and get her wooden rolling pin and roll the tortillas out. Getting the rolled tortillas was half the work. Then she'd heat up her flat tortilla skillet and then get each tortilla cooked, flipping them with her bare fingers. I thought that was incredible. It seemed that the skillet would be way too hot for her to flip them with her bare fingers, but she did it. 

So yeah, those were the food items I remember as a very young kid. Going to my Grandpa's house, who lived next door to me (in our very strangely arranged Santa Fe neighborhood), he would cook red chile with some kind of meat, and he'd dip a piece of the cheapest white bread into the chile and eat that for a snack or a meal. He would give me some of the chile, or let me get my own piece of white bread to dip with. I remember loving this. 

I remember my grandpa had liver in his small fridge. I never tried that. 

Later on in my childhood, we had less beans and tortillas, and more ramen noodles, pot pies, and macaroni and cheese. I remember living off of these staples. I don't remember having much vegetables or fruit in my house. Or, if we did, I didn't eat them. I ate a lot of ramen. Like most days, I'd have ramen. 

Our family didn't have dinner together. We'd eat when we ate. Most of my meals in the school year came form school. I had reduced lunch. This means that my lunch and breakfast costs were less than the regular cost. If I remember correctly, my lunch was about 35¢, breakfast was probably about the same. I think we just bought a monthly lunch pass and I would hand my card to the lunch lady, and she'd punch my card, and I'd grab my lunch. 

Breakfast's where whatever the school provided. I think the most delicious breakfast they had was the "pancake on a stick". It was just like a corndog, except the breading on the outside was pancake batter, and instead of a hotdog in the middle, it was breakfast sausage. They'd give you a cup of syrup to dip your breakfast in and of course serve it with a half pint of milk. 

Lunches were square pizza, cheeseburgers, taco salad ... the others I don't remember. 

But, I'm talking about food stamps, right? I'll get back to that. I guess I just wanted to talk about what my relationship was like with food when I was a kid. 

I think the thing that I don't like the most about my childhood and my relationship with food as a kid was the social piece. Humans share meals together. We love going to restaurants. We love to talk together and discuss the day over a meal. I didn't do that. I remember maybe having dinner at a table with my family once in my entire childhood. (Other than in restaurants.)

The other was what food did to my body. I hated my body as a kid. And I loved the salty hot taste of ramen noodles. 

I remember once I had prepared myself some ramen noodles and someone came over--unexpected company. I remember hiding my food. I didn't want them to know I was eating. Or maybe I was embarrassed. I don't know why I did that. It's not like I wouldn't share. I'd share my noodles with them. I just felt very insecure about eating around them. And this behavior stuck around and is still there in a way as an adult. I will not eat around other people unless they are also eating--even if they say it's okay if I eat while they're there or if I know they've already had a meal. 

Okay, now I can move on to food stamps again. My next experience with food stamps was as an adult and I was the recipient of the food stamps.

As an adult, there was a time where I could not afford to pay all of my bills and I could not afford food. My next step was to seek government assistance. I remember going to the Human Services Department building off of Menaul and I-25 in Albuquerque. I had to apply in person. Or maybe I had to meet with a case manager in person to discuss my application. One of my tasks, though, was to come back to the HSD building to attend a career training workshop on a Saturday. The purpose of this workshop was to teach me how to complete a job application, and I had to check in with my case manager to show them I was looking for work. This was incredibly humiliating. Especially because I was already employed, and I was a recent graduate of UNM with a degree in economics. 

I remember being worried that I would know one of the employees that were handling my case. What if I was a client of a person I knew. My heart sank. I felt pretty worthless. 

I jumped through the hoops, though, and I got my food stamps card. (Technology moved along from my experience as a kid.) The card was similar to an ATM card, and I picked a PIN and could use it to buy my groceries. There were some rules I had to know about, though. I could not buy any prepared food, no rotisserie chicken from the deli. And no booze, of course. Fine. At least I could bring food home. 

I had to keep track of my balance, though. I was allotted a certain dollar amount for the month, and if I bought groceries that exceeded my balance, the entire transaction would be declined. I had to then either separate the order into two transactions, or ask the cashier to put back the items I couldn't afford. 

And this was embarrassing. I tried my hardest to be exact with my amounts so I didn't have to go through the embarrassing part of asking cashiers to take items off. 

Things got especially difficult if you involved WIC benefits. WIC is a benefit that will cover essential food items: milk, cheese, yogurt, cereal, beans. But, WIC will only cover certain food items, and you had to get really good at knowing which items it would cover. I got really good at this. 

But, what this meant, is that there were some transactions that had three cards swiped--your WIC card, food stamps card, and then your debit card if there were any non-food or prepared food in your list of purchases. 

As this is all happening, there are a few things that are going through my mind; 

    1. I hate my life. This sucks. 

    2. It really sucks that I have to put the cashier thought all this extra work.

    3. I hope they people behind me aren't getting upset that this is taking so long. I hope they don't see the         card I'm using. 

    4. I hope the cashier doesn't announce my food stamps balance to everyone in earshot. I would die of             embarrassment if she does.

But, yeah. I'm not there anymore, thankfully. I do not qualify for food stamps. My kids eat every meal they need. We make sure to have dinner together, as a family. We talk about the day. And I try my hardest to ensure that every meal has a protein and vegetable in it. 

Okay, here we go… My uncle climbed a tower in santa fe

Okay, here we go… My uncle climbed a tower in santa fe. 

I grew up with lots of cousins. A few were older, most of them were younger than me. 

My childhood was spent in Santa Fe. A weird place to grow up, looking back. Of my …many cousins, I was the fifth oldest. Two of my older cousins live in Santa Fe, the other lived in California (I think), and the other older cousin lived in Tennessee. 

Wait… did the one that lived in California live in Santa Fe? Typing this, I think she did. At least for a little while. Maybe she went back and forth from Santa Fe to California. 

I remember asking her about the freeways in California. California cities and population density of California urban areas kind of blew my mind. Her stories of twelve lane highways filled me with wonder. 

But, yeah. Lots of cousins everywhere. Most of my time was spend with the second oldest, but occasionally I’d go with other aunts. Never uncles. Uncles were kind of absent. 

Except for this one time when my uncle took me ice fishing. I don’t know how old I was, but I was very young. If we were in New Mexico, chances are we went to Eagle Nest Lake (https://wwwapps.emnrd.nm.gov/SPD/ParksReportingPublicDisplay/WebDisplay/Detail/37). As far as I know, that’s the only lake in the state that gets cold enough to ice fish. 

My uncle’s approach to getting to the fish was very unconventional. Even I knew this as a very young kid. I think there’s probably protocol to getting under the ice, and it’s not finding the best boulder from the shore and proceeding to bash it into the ice. Right? That sounds dangerous. 

I’m not sure why my parents let me spend time with my uncle… or some of my aunts for that matter. 

I ended up survinvg the ice fishing incident. But, then there was more fun to be had with uncles and aunts. 

I remember going to one aunt’s house and spending the night. Sleepovers were a big deal in the 90s. I don’t remember having a good time, however. My cousins were allowed to do pretty much whatever they wanted, and that did not involve cleaning their apartment. The environment was very chaotic to my child brain. I remember feeling uncomfortable being there. Even now, it gives me unpleasant feelings. 

I was quiet. I didn’t speak up for myself. Something I’ve kept with me to this day. I think I’ve gotten better, but as a kid I would rather stay silent and suffer than speak up to express what I needed. Don’t know why. There’s probably some explanation that points to trauma or whatever. But it was how it was. 

One of the most uncomfortable memories I had was when I spent the night at their apartment and the kids decided they wanted to watch a Freddy Krueger Movie. His face is etched into my brain. I did not want to watch the movie. I didn’t want to be in the room and hear the movie. I didn’t want to be in that house. I just wanted to go home.  But, I was stuck. 

Stuff like that. 

Aunts and uncles suck. At least mine did. 

One time, an uncle of mine got into a craze and decided he wanted to climb a radio tower off of Agua Fria Rd. You know? Those tall towers that have bright blinking red lights on them at night? Those ones. This particular uncle was determined, or convinced, that he was a wrestler. Not the olympic variant. The ones on WWE (then it was WWF). But, he wasn’t athletic. He just liked to scream “I’m awesome!”. I think he was probably just drunk or high or both. 

But, yeah. He made me feel uneasy. And he climbed the tower. At least he said he was gong to. I don’t know if he did or not. He probably didn't. I bet he just passed out. 

I didn't like going to their apartment. In fact, I hated it. 

Santa Fe gave me a variety of memories. Many of them I’m fond of. Those memories suck. 

We were locals. Been in Santa Fe for generations. Our family wasn’t typical. Education wasn’t encouraged. Success wasn’t even mentioned. My uncles and aunts lived to party. They did stupid shit when the kids were around. Said stupid shit when the kids were around. They were horrible examples. 

When a different uncle of mine would sneeze he would also sneeze the Spanish word “Puta” at the same time. 

The word is not a good one. 

Google’s definition: 

pu·ta

noun

DEROGATORY•INFORMAL

1. (in Spanish-speaking regions) a prostitute.

   • a woman who has many casual sexual encountersor relationships.

I didn’t like that guy. Still don’t. He stole from my Grandpa, and my parents. 

So, now that I’m living in this space… I wonder how this has shaped me as a person. Maybe it isn’t all bad. I know that I find it easy to set boundaries now. I don’t want anything to do with that sort of dysfunction I was exposed to as a kid. I have no problem skipping family get-togethers. I have no problem saying “no” to have my kids hang out with the family crowd. And I know that I have control of where my kids are. I can stick up for them and advocate for them, remembering that I didn’t have anyone to advocate for me when I was a kid. 

Not sure why, my mind goes to this image, (generated by Bing AI) when I think of my uncle climbing that tower.