Learning How To Be Content

Listening to mewithoutYou. It's been too long. I don't know where my mind's at, or where it's been. I used to get so into music! Now I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Just being honest. I think I'm doing okay. I know some changes need to be made. But what? Where? Do all humans think about what needs to be changed in their lives? Do all humans have a hard time being content? What does it mean to be content? Well, I'll look it up. Webster says this:

": pleased and satisfied : not needing more"

Am I pleased and satisfied with my life? Do I feel like I need more? Dang. I'm not content at all! I wonder what the Bible says about being content. Is discontentment a bad thing. I think discontentment can be motivation when it's at a safe level. When it's at an unsafe level then it can just drag you into a pit. That's where I am right now. I think that Lindsey and Luke should bring me contentment. And I love them. I think it's me that's flawed. I shouldn't feel that I need more.

So what does the Bible say about contentment? I am a Christian and I believe what the Bible says. So I'll look...

This portion of scripture always come to mind. Matthew 6:25-34 (ESV):
"25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[g] 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 Forthe Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 Butseek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.""

It's true for me. No matter how much I worry, I'm always taken care of. I have never gone without a meal. In fact, I, like most other American's, probable have too many meals on a daily basis. I have everything I need, and more! I like that Jesus didn't deny the fact that there will be things that trouble us, but he assured us that we will be taken care of.

So, back to contentment. Pleased and satisfied...not needing more. I have to think about this one for a while. I have to exercise discipline. I need to be happy with my job, while continuously striving to better myself. And I need to trust in God. Divine love. 

Other things I'm thinking about...

Well, I want to look up these mewithoutYou lyrics. I also want to quote what Stephen Colbert said about God's love. I'll quote Stephen Colbert first, then I'll look up the lyrics to this song. 

I read an article from Relevant about Stephen Colbert and I was blown away about what he said in response to Hell and God's love. Here's what the article said:

""“I think the answer, ‘God is love’ is pretty good for a child. Because children understand love … My son asked me one day, ‘Dad, what’s hell?’ … So, I said, ‘Well, if God is love, then hell is the absence of God’s love. And, can you imagine how great it is to be loved? Can you imagine how great it is to be loved fully? To be loved totally? To be loved, you know, beyond your ability to imagine? And imagine if you knew that was a possibility, and then that was taken from you, and you knew that you would never be loved. Well that’s hell—to be alone, and know what you’ve lost.’”"

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/6-times-stephen-colbert-got-serious-about-faith#XaHxqTqv1tXRkdL1.99

Anyway, I think I'm done writing. I'll put off the lyrics until later. I'll just enjoy the music for now. That's all. 

I'll leave you with a link to some information on some lillies that grow in the Middle East. Maybe Jesus had one of these flowers in mind when he spoke about them in Matthew 6. http://www.jerusalemperspective.com/1584/

Wonder

What's important in life? Why are we here? Seems like a common theme in this blog of mine. I'm always asking myself where my purpose is. It's difficult to see that there is any purpose. I know I do have purpose. I'm a dad to Luke and a husband to Lindsey. Those are two huge jobs, and jobs that I am incredibly grateful to have. Still, life can get monotonous. I feel selfish when I say "I want excitement. I want adventure". Is it, though? I don't think it is. I want purpose. I want more purpose. Lindsey and Luke are good enough. I want more. I don't know where this feeling is coming from. I'm not saying that my wife and son aren't enough to satisfy my need to love. No, they definitely do. What I need, I guess, is knowledge. I need knowledge of my meaning on Earth. Am I here just to be a dad and husband? Then I want to know how I can be a better father and a better husband.

Am I here because a random coming together of energy and matter?

Did God know my name the moment the Universe expanded from a single point?

I think it's really cool that the wonder of the Universe has been shoved into the mainstream by Neil deGrasse Tyson's Cosmos. Just your regular Joe and Jane are now watching this show that is encouraging thought. Hardcore fundamentalists from every edge of thought and everyone in between are talking. The Universe is full of wonder. We should pay more attention to it.

How freaking cool is it that there may be at least one other dwarf planet and possibly another planet that's several times larger than Earth that we didn't even know about? The Universe holds so many mysteries. Our little spek on the map of the Universe is so tiny...we're still trying to understand the things that are right in front of us. Think about how vast the Universe is. In our own Solar System there might be other planets we're just finding now.

So, I'm blown away. I'm also sad.

I'm sad because I've fallen into monotony. Go to work. Pay the bills. Have a short weekend. Do it again. I want out of this cycle. I want to worship the God who sparked this Universe into existence. I want to know more about God. I want to quit caring what others think about my crazy thoughts about God. My mind drifts to denial. I think about the friends who I used to hang out with. They don't believe in God. Well, if they do they haven't told me. And I didn't ask. It was okay that way.

I want to ask the serious questions. I want to think rationally. I think that religion and rational thought can go hand in hand. God isn't far fetched. To think there is no God I think is more far fetched now. I try to learn more about the Universe we're in and this blue planet we're drifting on. The more I try to learn, the more God proves himself to me.

I think Christians are crazy. I don't want to be one of those crazy Christians who takes the Bible and makes it mean what I want it to mean. I don't want to use the Bible and a weapon against other humans. There's a lot of stuff in the Bible. A lot of it I don't understand. I read the Bible, and I'm learning more and more. I'm no theologian though.

I think I'm done for tonight. I'll try to break out of the monotony I've fallen into. I'll work on appreciating my life more. I'll work on being a better father, a better husband, a better son.

Life's Changed

I'm sitting at my home computer desk typing on a "real" keyboard. How weird. Most of my computing is done on a 5.7 inch Note 3 screen. It feels nice to get back on a desktop personal computer. I'm listening to Taking Back Sunday's newest record. It was just released today. Things have changed since "Where You Want To Be"...for me and for Taking Back Sunday. The music is good. I like the album so far.

Oh my goodness. I'm 30. I'm about to be 31.

I've got a son who's going to turn 2 next month.

Life's changed. It's changed for good though. I'm happy I'm not where I was ten years ago. I love my son, I love my wife.

I'm still glad to listen to these old bands, though. There are a few that I can't listen to. Weezer, believe it or not. I can't listen to Weezer. I just can't enjoy it like I used to. The Ataris. I don't like The Ataris now. I loved the Ataris 12 years ago! Nope. Not now. I can't even start the record. That's a band that I grew out of. I still enjoy MxPx and Blindside, but I don't listen to them all the time like I used to. I would say I don't listen to as much music as I used to. I definitely don't go to as many shows as I used to. I want to find good music. I want to listen to it with my family.

--

Five years.

Five years of marriage. Just thinking back... I can't imagine life not being married. I love Lindsey so much. On this day 5 years ago we were in southern California waiting to start life together. It makes me happy to know Lindsey loves me.

Zoo Trip, Evolution, Jesus, Note 3.

My armpits stink. It's okay. It's natural. What's not natural is animals in captivity. Luke and I went to the Rio Grande Zoo. It's cool that it's not natural, we still had a blast. Plus, I don't think anyone would want to see a hippopotamus up close in nature. Those creatures are big, strong, territorial and they will hurt you. I'm happy to see them behind an exhibit wall.

Another creature I wouldn't want to see in nature is the black mamba. Yeah, efff everything about that snake. It can slither up to 15 mph and it can kill you with one bite. Na. A glass cage is good.

It was a fun day at the zoo with my boy. We watched the ducks eat, we saw the zebras eat their own poop. It was an epic father and son day. I love my boy.

Now the boy's napping and I'm typing some words and drinking a Santa Fe Black IPA.

It's not very often that I get to relax and just type on a keyboard. So that's what I'm going to do. Not a whole lot has been on my mind recently. That's bad. Things definitely used to get to me and sometimes I would over think things. It feels good to think though. We need to think. We're humans, it's what we do. It's what sets us apart from all the animals in captivity at the zoo. Except maybe the chimpanzees.

Luke and I sat there and watched the chimpanzees. They're definitively different from all the other animals in the zoo. Them and the gorillas. They're apes. They were laying there in the sun...relaxing I guess. Or maybe they're pissed off that they're in prison. I have no clue. But then there are humans. We're apes. It doesn't take a genius to recognize that humans look a lot like gorillas and chimpanzees. Our teeth look similar, so do our hands and our ears. Yeah, there's a lot of physical traits we have that are really similar looking to those of chimpanzees and gorillas.

But I'm a Christian. Yup. There it is. So, does that mean I have to ignore all of the scientific work humans have done in identifying our relationship to other apes? I'm not smart. I'll be the first to admit that. Those scientists who came up with all this about our origins are smart, though.

Some people think that if you are scientific minded then you can't believe in the supernatural at all. Supernatural is to go against nature-- against the natural laws that are in existence. It's like, if I believe in what scientists say then there's no reason to believe in God. The scientist is here and wrote a paper and documented research. I can't see God. The idea of God was just passed down to me from thousands of years of stories.

It is hard for me to believe in God sometimes.

I think about all the evidence that has been presented against God. There's a lot. Like why does evil exist? Why do innocent people die? Here's one for ya. Why is it that God loves us all so much and he still allows us to sin? God is all powerful. God created everything. Sin shouldn't exist if God exists. There are explanations about all of these by Christians. A lot of Christians ignore these questions. A lot of Christians don't know why they're Christians. Blind faith is the worst, and Christians aren't the only ones guilty of that.

But, then their's that dude Jesus. God incarnate. Came to Earth and loved the hell out of every one he came in contact with. Even Atheists admit at least the fables of the Jesus are nice stories (they love Deuteronomy more). Jesus is why I'm a Christian. Jesus loved. He served. He healed. He was God coming to meet humans where we were at. We needed exactly what he brought us. And human's needs haven't changed much since Jesus walked the rocky paths of Galilee. We still need to be healed. We need to be accepted. We need love. We need love so bad.

So, that's where I stop. I stop and think. Who was Jesus? He told me to turn my cheek. He told me to love my neighbor (not just Mr. Rodgers, although I do love him). I'm not to retaliate. I'm supposed to put myself second and show love to other people. It's hard not to be selfish. It's hard not to feel uncomfortable when a beggar asks for money.

So, Jesus is why I'm a Christian. But was Jesus God? Or was he just a really nice Middle Eastern dude? Well, if he was just a dude, then I'm not going to worship him. The most important thing about my beliefs are the resurrection. Nope, not The Walking Dead. Although, that show is freaking awesome. Jesus died...  but he didn't stay dead. He was buried. Some people wrote about how he was buried. Did they lie? They could have. Then Jesus's grave was empty. And Jesus's followers were like, "who took his body". But then they saw him walking around. People wrote about that. Then they started the largest religion in the history of humankind. And they died because of it. The Romans killed Christians. And I know it's an argument that's used a lot by Christians, but I think it's valid. Why would a Christian (one who knew Jesus, watched him die, and watched him walk around alive again) agree to die a painful death if it was all just a lie?

That was all a long time ago. Here I am. You might think I'm an idiot. I think I am too.

Luke's awake, so I'm done writing. I'll leave this post with photos of my day. By the way, the Note 3 camera is dang good! The phone is ridiculously large. I'm getting used to it, though.

Just a Thought

Is it weird that science and God both bring me wonder? I feel love in nature and God, and also feel like the two cannot be separated. I think it's funny how scientists and creationists debate each other. To me, that's silly. I'll bet my beliefs are silly to a lot of people, though. 

I'll tell you what else I think is silly. Christians denying climate change. How is this against what Jesus said? I think it's our duty to recycle and to use clean energy. This planet is a gift. It's gorgeous! Why wouldn't a Christian want to preserve and take care of our planet?

Here I Am

Here I am. At home. On a Sunday. Doing what Americans do. I kinda hate my attitude lately. I'm sick and tired of being part of America. It's nothing against Americans. I'm American. I just don't like how things happen here. I feel like things are backwards. We're focused on the wrong types of things. Life is about surviving, it always has been. Humans, and all animals do their best to survive... So, I guess I don't blame us for just doing our best to survive. What's life about, though? It's not about technology, or vacations, or the next high. That's what we chase in America, though. It's apparent watching this AFC Championship game. Commercials sell us what we want. That Apple commercial really freaked me out. 

Here's the commercial. I think Apple is telling me that there is all this excitement out there. Being human is experiencing all these different things, and an iPad will enhance that experience. I love to document my experiences, but I think that sometimes it's good not to document, too. It takes away from the experience when all I'm doing is looking at a 4 inch screen... I want to be in the moment. 

This brings me back to surviving. I'm surviving. I eat (too much). I'm living. I wouldn't say I'm living to the fullest though. I think a lot of Americans can relate to me. I want more. Albuquerque is a great place, but I want to see more. I want to breathe the air in different places. I want to see the sun set over the ocean. I'm tied down to my American life. I would give up the internet in a second. 

I'm not ungrateful for what I have. I have everything I need. I have my health. I have a job. I love my wife and I love my son. Things need to change here though. I'm not sure they will. I can see the future. Our obsession with technology is only going to get worse. Our time with other humans is going to decrease and the separation of opinions and ideas are only going to widen. Christians hate gay people. Gay people hate Duck Dynasty. Some women want the right to choose to abort a pregnancy. Some women believe it to be murder. I'm generalizing. And I'm sure not all Christians hate gay people and I'm sure all gay people don't hate Duck Dynasty. But it appears that our country is so divided. 

Well, at least we can all agree that we need more stuff. We need more data. We need more mega pixels. We need more beer. We need more Vegas, more Los Angeles. We need more porn. More meaningless sex. We're not nice to each other. We get in our powerful cars and speed down the road texting our status update. Everyone needs to know what we're doing. I wish we loved more. 

We claim to follow Jesus. We claim to be a "Christian Nation". That makes me laugh uncomfortably. Christian Nation? When I read about Jesus, then I read the news I would say we're the anti-christ nation. Bickering on Facebook. 

I'm just complaining. I need to listen to some music. I need time with my wife. I need time with my friends. Complaining won't get me anywhere. 

Barack Obama Is a Muslim...I Saw His Ring

I'm ready for tonight's message on submission at Calvary ABQ. I have a lot of negative things to day about everything, including Calvary. I want to start speaking positively, though. I've never had any issue with President Barack Obama, maybe that's un-christian of me, but I really like this portion of 1 Peter 2:

"13 Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution,[b] whether it be to the emperor[c] as supreme, 14 or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. 15 For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. 16 Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants[d] of God. 17 Honour everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the emperor."

We're to "honour the emperor", or President in our case. I think it's funny how all these Christians talk badly about the President and his wife. We shouldn't talk badly about anybody really--doesn't mean you have to agree with him, but you have to "honour" him. What does that mean? I'm excited to learn more tonight.