I'm really pushing myself to post this right now. I set a goal four days ago, that I would write in this blog every day this week. I've done so. But, it's hard.
So, I wouldn't be true to the theme of this blog if I didn't post something completely worthless. I have this weird OCD where I can't unplug my devices from charging unless they're fully charged. It's supper weird, but I can't. I shouldn't say, "can't". I just unplugged this MacBook Pro and it was 96%.
I like tech. Too much. I'm weird.
A couple other things. I was thinking about the blog post I posted yesterday. I said the f-word. You know... because it was on my mind. Language is weird to me. I shared my blog on Facebook. My mother in law in on there, my father in law, too. People in my community group, people that go to my church. What will they think about me? I'm talking about doubt and I said a cuss word.
I should worry about what people think about me, right? Well, maybe not worry. Worry sounds like that's all I think about. Maybe a better word would be "concerned"..."cognizant". Maybe not. Maybe I should just life. Maybe I should just say what I want on my blog, but be prepared for consequences.
I was also thinking about my blog post for other reasons. I shared it on Facebook. I usually don't do that. I felt like that post was appropriate, though. After I posted it, I immediately began to think about what other people would think about me. Would they see my spelling errors? Would they see my grammar errors? What about the way I think? Would I be judged? I care about what people think about me more than I thought. Maybe I should stop wasting brain power on that. At least not as much brain power.
I continued in my book. The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. This chapter, chapter 7, I think, was about faith. By the way, I might be completely misinterpreting this book. What I saw, though, was Tozer explaining that faith comes from seeing, and he started talking about seeing God, keeping your gaze focused on God. So, faith isn't from seeing with your eyes, your physical eyes, but by keeping your focus on God every day, so thinking about God and meditating on who he is.
The chapter didn't ease any of my questions about what faith is or how to have more of it. I guess if all of your thoughts are on God, then you'll likely have more faith. But, this could be said of any religion or philosophy. If I'm thinking constantly about how I'll inherit a planet and have countless wives for me to populate that planet, sooner or later, I'll believe that. Or, any religious belief. I think every religion requires faith, what makes faith within Christianity different?
Lindsey and I had a discussion on kids, marriage, and our trip to Oregon.
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