I'm enjoying my breakfast. A bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats, a Banana and a cup of Cafe Bustelo coffee with soy milk. It's quite tasty. I'm listening to Sufjan Steven's record Illinois. It's very cozy morning. Luke is in his rocker right next to me enjoying his morning nap. I let Diego out this morning and there is still a hint of a smell of rain in the air.
I had a lot on my mind that I wanted to write down. I don't remember any of it. I think I wanted to talk about God. I don't remember. I just feel uneasy this morning. It's just weird to me... that I still believe in God and so many other people have rejected any idea of a God. It sounds crazy on paper, it really does. And a lot of us were brought up taught that the Christian God is what is true. Now we are at the age that we can decide for ourselves. Does God exist? God isn't walking around Earth somewhere. We can't shake his hand. We don't see press conferences with him on the news. God could do that. Why doesn't he? Why doesn't he just come down to earth, call all the news networks and arrange a press conference to announce that he, in fact, does exist? The naysayers would be proven wrong.
And why is it so difficult being a Christian? I feel like people look down on my because of my belief. I'm no less than you, non-christian. I believe science and God can't be separated. In my view, God created the heavens and the earth. He created the dinosaurs. He created the Rocky Mountains. He created Mariana Trench. He created stars, every type of star, out of nothing. It can be no other way to me. He created Love. Love. Love. He made my little boy's nose, his ears, his little laugh. And God loves. How can I be so sure? You might just say, "you were brought up to be a Christian, that's why you believe that". You might be part right. I have had the chance to think for myself, outside my parents direction. There is a time when you have to sit down and really think about what you believe. Your religion, or world view has to be seriously thought about. In our world, you either have God, or you don't (atheist). So, I had to choose. Do I want God, or do I not? I choose God. I choose God because there is a Universe. I choose God because of all the issues we have in the world. I think our problems show that there is evil. If there is evil then there has to be good. I choose God because of humans. Humans are so much different than all other animals on Earth. We love, we hate, we're jealous, we're humble, we're prideful, we're happy, we're sad, we're content, we have joy, we're afraid. Other animals experience emotion too, but not like Humans.
There are lots of questions I have too. Like what about the Bible? What is this canon? So a bunch of church leaders came together and decided what is divine, and what is not. What is God inspired and what is not? Was God there with them? Well, I hope so. But the canon is whatever. Jesus existed. Secular historians don't deny Jesus' existence. We just have to find out if Jesus died and stayed dead. What a weird thing to believe, huh? My God died, and rose from the dead. Jesus wasn't a zombie. He rose from the dead. People just don't do that. So how do I find out if Jesus really did come back to life after being dead for three days? Well, they haven't found any bones. Historical records don't show that his dead body was anywhere. Could the disciples have hidden the body of Jesus because they didn't want to be wrong? I guess, but some of then ended up dying for Jesus. If it was just a joke I'm sure they would have just backed out. I wouldn't die for something fake. And Jesus' legacy moved on... I don't know everything. And I'll be honest, if someone told me that they found Jesus' bones and he didn't rise from the dead, then I would reconsider my faith. But Jesus can't be dis-proven! And thanks, Richard Dawkins but neither can a flying spaghetti monster.
Until they find the bones of Jesus, I'll continue to have faith. I'll read about our universe. I'll read about our weather patterns, I'll read about mountains, and I'll dream of visiting them. There is so much wonder in this life. There is so much beauty.