Just got back from the gym. I'm so thirsty right now. I could chug a gallon of water. I probably couldn't chug an entire gallon of water. Maybe a pint or so. I just wanted to emphasize how thirsty I am. I'm working out for two reasons now; The first reason is that I want to look good for Lindsey, Lord knows, my wit won't keep her around by itself, the second reason is that I want to be healthy to better my chances of sticking around long enough to see Luke grow up.
I'm still praying for a healthy pregnancy. When you're an expecting parent, you watch all types of documentaries, you read all types of articles, and every one scares you to pieces. I've heard that every thing should be fine... For me, it's in God's hands.
I felt thoughtful just 30 minutes ago. I don't so much anymore. It seems like when I'm running on the treadmill that life is just on my mind. I do my best thinking while I run. Right now there's a Pandora commercial... Thinking stalled. I don't even care anymore. All I can think about is chugging that pint of water. I'll keep writing though.
Last night I was discouraged about my faith. I've been more open about my faith lately. I think it's a good thing. Someone's faith isn't something that should be hidden. Someone's faith should be the most important thing in that person's life. I mean it's called a world view for a reason. You see the world through your lens of faith. Is my lens false? Is my lens distorting my view of the world? Well, that's up to me to decide. To me it's truth. Sometimes I will reevaluate my lens. It always makes sense to me though.
Some people are probably a little surprised at my belief. Some people probably don't care. I do care what other people think. I don't want what people to think about me to influence my actions, sometimes it does. It shouldn't, though. My life is under a constant surveillance. There's Facebook and there's Twitter. I'm not shy on either networks. I'm not sure who's seeing the posts I make. I rarely get responses. Maybe people just think what I'm saying is stupid. Or maybe what I'm saying is just not worth responding to. I'm not sure.
Whatever people think is fine. They have free will to think whatever they would like to think about me. Do they really have a completely free will? Our culture affects our free will. At least it influences the way we think. We have all sorts of media that might affect our free will. We have our peers, who we admire, that affect our nature of thinking. There is a tendency for us as humans to follow the main stream. Most of us are either Republican or Democrat. We either think that the government should take care of the less fortunate, or we think that the less fortunate should contribute to society by getting a job. We think that homosexuals should have the right to marry or we don't. We think that a woman's right should be to abort a fetus or we think it's murder. There's a main stream of thought. Whatever that mainstream tendency is will ultimately win out on any debate we have. It seems like Christianity is not in this main stream.
I could probably write a lot more about my thoughts about Christianity. (I like to call it The Way. I'm reading Acts right now.) Was Jesus real? Was he God? Did he rise from the dead in three days and return to Heaven. How crazy this sounds, but I believe it. I believe it with all my heart. My faith isn't the strongest. I've been a terrible person. I'm going to continue to examine my faith. I'm going to continue to search for God.