17 April 2016


Technology... Right? I don't have technology on my mind right now. I mean I do, I'm using some tech to type what I'm saying right now. I love my Chromebook (Acer c-710), but I'm not using it. My 11 month old son, Riley, loves my Chromebook too, and he's playing with it right now. I'm typing on an iPad Air 2--not with a physical keyboard, but with the on screen keyboard, I think it's called a "virtual keyboard".

Okay, so tech is on on my mind right now. I guess tech's on my mind all the time. I'm fascinated by it. Let's switch gears...

I'm in Luke's room. Luke just turned 4 this week and he has an awesome room. Bunk beds, hot wheels, Ninja Turtles and a Cars mini couch that works perfectly as a pillow for me. It's relaxing in here.

It's good to decompress. Sundays are good days to do this. I'm preparing for a new week. A new week where I'll face some new challenges--some old challenges too. I'm trying to figure out some big things in my life. I'm trying to figure out my faith, first of all. The way I view the universe is huge. I think you have to be certain about this before you make any progress in life. At least I feel that way about me. I can't be a good father or a good husband if I'm unsure about who I am. Maybe I'll find that to be false as a get older, I don't know.

I've made some progress though. I mean, I think I have. Lindsey and I have been part of a community group for about 10 months now. Community group has been great. We share a meal then we discuss. We don't have to agree on everything, we just talk. I've needed that for a long time. I think Lindsey and I both did... We're still working on things in our lives, but it's nice to work on some of the things with people who are also working in things. It's nice to know you're not alone.

Speaking of things I'm working on--in church today, the lesson was about humility and being second (Philippians 1 &2). I'm thinking about all the people I encounter in a day. My wife. She's the most important human to me in the whole world. Can I make a confession? I'm not second. I'm in a commanding first. She's pregnant right now, carrying our daughter, Juliette. She gets tired sometimes. Sometimes she's a bit moody. I'll give her a back rub while we watch our favorite Hulu show, but I do it with resistance. I complain mostly. I'm not second. I'm mostly just a jerk. This needs to change.

Then there's my kids. I love playing with them, and yeah, sometimes I need just a little break so I can serve them the best I possibly can. But then there are times my face is buried in a screen, doing nothing. Facebook. Dumb video games. I'm not second. I'm still in a commanding first.

This week I'm going to work on being second. I'm going to love my wife. I'm going to love my kids. So yeah. That's where I am.

I'm grateful! For the past seven years I've agonized over finding purpose in a career. I don't know what it is about me. Maybe it's an American thing. Maybe it's a Hispanic thing. Maybe it's a man thing. Maybe it's just s human thing. But, since I graduated college, I've been searching for a career. Purpose wasn't the job itself, it was a paycheck. I wanted that salary that would buy the stuff I really want. That house. That truck (2016 Toyota Tacoma 4x4 TRD in black). Unlimited brewery visits. Unlimited craft coffee. Unlimited Isotopes games. You name it. Camping. Hiking. Trips. Toys for the boys. Shit! I just wanted to pay of my damn student debt!

I never found that career. I tried. And I failed feeling empty and defeated. Then I got my teaching license and got a job with Albuquerque Public Schools teaching 7th and 8th grade social studies. I was excited! -- until I got my first paycheck. I was still occupied with the money piece. So I quit. I went back to the pursuit of a profession that would pay me money and lots of it. It didn't take long for me to realize how much of an idiot I've been.

I'm not cured. I still look at others and I see the car they drive, the house they have, the title in their business card and I have some envy. But, at least now I know where I went wrong. I know where I need to focus improvement.

I think I'm done writing now. I'll leave this blog with some lyrics to a song. They sang this song in church today. I kinda love it. I also love Dustin Kensrue and Thrice. This song with as on a Modern Post record.

Here ya go...

The Modern Post "Rejoice"
"Come and stand before your Maker
Full of wonder, full of fear
Come behold His power and glory
Yet with confidence draw near

For the one who holds the heavens
And commands the stars above
Is the God who bends to bless us
With an unrelenting love

Rejoice, come and lift your hands and
Raise your voice, He is worthy of our praise
Rejoice, sing of mercies of your King
And with trembling, rejoice

We are children of the promise
The beloved of the Lord
Won with everlasting kindness
Bought with sacrificial blood

Bringing reconciliation
To a world that longs to know
The affections of a Father
Who will never let them go

Rejoice, come and lift your hands and
Raise your voice, He is worthy of our praise
Rejoice, sing of mercies of your King
And with trembling, rejoice

All our sickness, all our sorrows
Jesus carried up the hill
He has walked this path before us
He is walking with us still

Turning tragedy to triumph
Turning agony to praise
There is blessing in the battle
So take heart and stand amazed

Rejoice, when you cry to Him He hears
Your voice, He will wipe away your tears
Rejoice, in the midst of suffering
He will help you sing

Rejoice, come and lift your hands and
Raise your voice, He is worthy of our praise
Rejoice, sing of mercies of your King
And with trembling rejoice"

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