Eat

A kettle's going. When it's done, I'll have a Theraflu. If there's no Theraflu left, some plain herbal tea will do. It's been a week. Just a crazy, stinkin week. It starts with a cold--last week--the beginning of last week. I think this is a world record. I don't think any human has had a cold longer than I have. Maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself. But, this cold has gotten comfortable and it doesn't want to go. What sucks even more is that I thought I was over it, then it got worse. Maybe it was two separate viruses. I have no idea. I'm not a doctor. Either way, it sucks. I'm not the only one sick. Riley got it and I even took him to the doctor. Doctor said he's okay and time, hydration and love is the best medicine. Then Luke got it. Luke's like me and his mom. He doesn't deal with being sick very well. Finally, Lindsey contracted this beast virus. She's sleeping right now...

It hasn't been a fun week. But crap! To make it worse, I'm dealing with stuff. I'm always dealing with stuff, it seems. Ever realize that you've made a big mistake? Then you dwell on it and dwell on it? Never moving on? Yeah. I'm there. So, I'm not teaching right now. I should be teaching right now. I made a decision, at the time I felt was the best one for my family. Now, I'm wondering. I miss my students a lot. I miss my school. I miss teaching. And I gave it all up to work in an industry I hated. I was here once before, and I complained constantly about it. But, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I heard that somewhere. It's true, too. It's good to learn from your mistakes. Learn. Life's education. I feel like lessons are harder for me than for others. I've learned that I need to listen to the advise of those around me. I've learned that when I'm faced with a decision to take some time and really meditate on that decision--don't make decisions based purely on emotion.

I'll survive. I'll be better. I hope other opportunities come up. I know they will.

Now... I listened my favorite podcast today, Bad Christian. Toby was going off about what's wrong with the church again. I agree with him. What's a good church look like? I think community. I think love. I think accountability. I think accepting attitudes. I think a church that isn't polluted by the desire for money or to further a political agenda. I think America has really screwed up the church. I got the idea that Toby was talking about the American church in particular.

Yeah, it seems like the American church is republican only. The church doesn't show Christ's love to "sinners". Particularly the "sinners" that are LGBT, Muslim, pro-choice, atheist...and the list goes on. What's weird to me is that it seems like a lot of the church is supporting this guy Donald Trump. There has to be. I see a few Christians on my Facebook feed supporting him. But, I mean, he's doing awesome in the primary. Way better than I ever thought he would do. And, a lot of republicans identify as "Evangelical Christians". So, why would they support this guy? I don't get it. I feel like he goes against everything it means to be a Christian. He doesn't speak love. In fact, it sounds like he speaks hate. He can't relate to the typical American person. He's supper rich and he flaunts his wealth. ...but I'm talking about politics. I don't want to. I was talking about the church.

I guess our church has been talking about meeting at the table. Being a community. I guess that's what we've been talking about. We haven't been in two weeks because of a cold. Last week was Luke 9:7-20. Here's the link. I'm familiar with this passage. I just read it again. I think I'm like a lot of people when I focus on the miracle. But, not that I read it again, I think it's interesting what happened before the miracle. Jesus and his disciples spent an entire day with this group of people. I wonder what they were doing. It says that Jesus "welcomed" them and he "spoke to them". It sounds like it was a good time of community. He had the attention of over 5,000 people. It had to be worth their while. And then Jesus fed them. I like to imagine what the conversations were like as they ate. I like to imagine it as a celebration. These people were with each other all day and now they were eating.