Above Me

Proverbs 16:1-4

The Lord has made everything for its purpose. God made the dirt for its purpose. God made bugs for their purpose. God made the clouds, water, Moon, Earth. God made me for my purpose. “Even the wicked for the day of trouble”.

This is where I can rebel and ask why God allows evil in the universe. My human brain asks why. God is all powerful, just make the evil go away. Make Earth perfect. Eliminate disease and pain. But, I’m not God, and this is a good thing. God’s wisdom is perfect and infinite. God’s ways are above my ways, his thoughts are above my thoughts. He has made everything for its purpose.

Even cancer? hunger? death? disease? hell?

What kind of purpose do these things need to accomplish?

Daddy?

Lindsey and I were talking about how our faith is weak. We spoke about how we don't see God in life today. A lot of Christians talk about how they see God "moving" in their lives. Or, they report of some spiritual experience that has left a mark on their life. We're Christians, we believe God exists. We believe in the Trinity and that Jesus is God as a man, and that man came and lived a perfect life, and he showered everyone he encountered with grace, and then he died to satisfy the balance of the universe. We believe that. We talk about it. But, lately our faith has been weak.

We're looking for signs. We want to see clear, evidence that God is with us, that He exists. Some would argue that there is none, and that's why they don't believe. Sometimes, I feel like God doesn't exist. It's interesting to think about it. My faith has never been my own. I was born into a house where Christianity was taught to me. Why would I question what my parents teach me? They teach me other important lessons in life. I shouldn't touch the stove, because it's hot. If I touch the stove, it will burn me. Or, stay away from ditches, etc. Children should trust their parents.

Religion is different. Religion is taught to children all over the world, and many children aren't taught Christianity. The parents believe their religion to be true, and the children believe the lessons to be true, and the cycle continues. So, what makes Christianity special? That's the question I ask myself all the time.

I don't want my faith to be fake.

I see this all the time. Fake faith. I pick on the United States, but it's true. I see fake faith everywhere. Faith that was just handed down from generation to generation. It has minor modifications as it's handed down, but it's basically just a copy of a copy. There's no genuine faith. Our faith seems to move as one, too. I mean, we collectively believe the same crap for specific topics. Our faith allows us to judge and even hate. I disagree with that faith.

This morning, Lindsey and I read a chapter out of the Bible. We read Isaiah 55. This chapter surprised me a bit. People always talk about how the God of the Old Testament is so much different from the God of the New Testament. Maybe that's true, but this chapter reminded me of something I would find in the New Testament. I read about a God with compassion. A God pleading for His people to come to Him. A God explaining why things are the way they are. A God being a Father to his children.

It was comforting in my waning faith. I understand the Father metaphor, because I myself am a father to two sons. My three year old can be super sweet at times, then other times I think he might be possessed by several demons. I was talking to Lindsey about this--I know what's best for Luke (my son). I will tell him to hold my hand while we're walking in a parking lot. Sometimes, he doesn't want to hold my hand. I know it's best for him and I will demand it, against Luke's will. I am his father, and there are some things that just have to be so that I can ensure his safety.

The same goes with me and God. There are situations I find myself in that I hate--I can't stand. When I'm in these situations I question God's existence. "Why the fuck would you allow me to be here, God? Why?!" These are probably similar thoughts that go through Luke's head when I'm demanding that he hold my hand. I know what's best. I have knowledge that is greater than Luke's.

This is kinda the gist of this chapter. God's coming to his people. He's requesting that his people come to him. verse 6-7 (ESV), "seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.". How crazy. The part that says "he will abundantly pardon". The chapter continues to talk about how God's ways are higher than ours, and his thoughts are higher than ours. v 11. "...it shall accomplish that which I purpose.".

This can be hard to swallow sometimes. And, there are people who are in real shitty situations. Are they in this situation to fulfill God's purpose? Do people die for that reason? I have questions, but then I remember that it says that God's thoughts are above mine. I don't think it's a cop out, but I think it's something to ponder more deeply.

Romans 11

Romans 11

In this chapter it seems that Paul is addressing salvation for Jews and gentiles. I might be wrong, but it seems that many people might have thought that Jews had special access to salvation. Maybe they thought that non-Jews, or gentiles just couldn’t be saved at all. He talks more about grace, first of all. He’s reminding people that works don’t do anything, it’s God’s grace to us that saves us. verse 6, “but if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works; otherwise grace would no longer be grace”.

He also talks about grafting branches as an illustration. He talks about branches being grafted onto an olive tree. He talks about branches being cut off, then being grafted again. He makes the illustration that it’s not the branches that makes the fruit, but the plant as a whole. It doesn’t matter where the branches come from.

I can see this applied today in a few different ways. One, we still have a tendency to exclude. We feel like some groups have a more direct access to God than others. I might sound unpatriotic. I’m not. I do see a Christianity that is perverted and whored about here in the good ol’ US of A. We have claimed Christianity for ourselves. There are missionaries that will visit other countries for a short period of time and they’ll help build churches, and they’ll train pastors and they will try to teach people from other countries and other cultures how to be a good American Christian.

Americans are very good of expecting people to meet us where we are. We will never meet people where they are. It’s the same for the people we find in our own country. The American Christian has become a big part of our identity as a country. The American Christian goes to church. He believes homosexuality is wrong, sex before marriage is a sin, abortion is wrong. The American Christian is most definitely a Republican. The American Christian thinks that the government shouldn’t show any help to our poor populations. The American Christian thinks that he is saved, and salvation belongs to him. The American Christian finds himself in the center of his own Universe, (which is only thousands of years old). The American Christian denies all sorts of scientific discovery because he feels that it might challenge his Bible. And, if you disagree with his world view, then you’re not welcome in his church, in his community, on his city council.

I’m not unpatriotic, I promise. I’m just writing down my personal observations. I feel like Americans find themselves as elite. We’re better. We’re special. We are the new chosen people. God favors us. I think this is the behavior that Paul was condemning in this chapter. I’m probably wrong, but that’s what I see. The Jews looked at themselves as entitled to salvation, and they got salvation by the works they did. Salvation is not owed to anyone. Salvation is a gift, and it’s not receive because of what you do. It’s because of grace. Grace is given to everyone, regardless of what flag you pledge allegiance to.

Long ride

Just rode my bike 17 miles. It was awesome. I got a goat head in my back tire at about mile 9 and I had to stop every so often to air up. Otherwise, great ride and gorgeous scenery!

Day 2

I want for a run. Two days in a row. I don't think I've done that in a while. I was still bad... It was day 2 though. I'm not going to be an awesome runner over night.

My legs and even my abs are sore from yesterday's run. Muscles that haven't been worked in too long.

I do want to find a better place to run. I've ran my fair share of neighborhoods in Albuquerque. Mine seems to be one of those that might have a stray pit bull or two. Oh we all know how sweet pit bulls are. I call pit billshit. Demon dogs. That's what I say.

Anyway, day 2. It's a start.

I'm a bum

I'm so out of shape and it's unacceptable. For the past 5 years I have been half-ass about my fat ass. I'm getting old and my health needs to be a priority.

So, I'm going to keep myself accountable here. I weigh 245 lbs. My target weight is 190 lbs. I just ran 2 miles and I'm more winded than I expected. I want to run daily and I'll post here when I do.

Social

I took a break from Facebook for almost an entire year. I know, I talk about Facebook way too much, but it's what's on my mind. Everyone's on Facebook, right? There's a lot of opinions flying around. It can become tiring. I try not to float my opinions in the mix, especially if it's just to piss someone off. I don't think people are just trying to piss other people off with their conflicting opinions. I mean, sometimes it seems like they are, but for the most part, I think people are just bored. 

Humans need validation. At least I do. I need to know that someone likes the picture I took, or that my kid is cute or whatever. I don't know why I need that... Well, maybe I do. Humans need community, and the internet is a good place to commune. We're all connected, digitally. 

We see someone's opinion that we disagree with, and we feel the need to post our opinion, passive aggressively, to oppose the people we disagree with. I say "we". Maybe, I mean "I". I don't know if there are others like me. I'll assume there are. What I see is my Facebook feed. Most of the active people on my Facebook feed are extreme left, or extreme right. It's not just Facebook, it's Twitter, too. Facebook is made up of mostly "real life" friends, and Twitter is just people I find interesting. Either way, it seems like the extreme left, or the extreme right post most. 

I don't know what I'm trying to say... I try to stay out of Facebook battles. I do think they can be healthy, though. We have never been able to discuss issues on such a scale ever before. Maybe I should engage more. Or maybe I shouldn't give a shit and just live my life. Should I express my ideas more? I don't know.

What I am going to do is enjoy my damn beer. Be a damn father to my son. Love my wife. And take in this beautiful overcast, rainy weather in Albuquerque today.