Christianity. What a weird idea. Seriously. If I try to think as logically as I possibly can, then I would have to say that I reject it. It makes no sense. But I still believe despite my doubt. Why? Well I have to search. I have to look deeper into myself. I have to wonder more about the universe. I have to think outside my little world here. How are we here? What about these stories about the nation of Israel? What about these stories about this man Jesus? Are they only stories? Are they only fairy tails? On the surface, you can easily dismiss them as fairy tales. Man has always had some type of religion. Man has always had deities. What makes this Jesus any different? That's what I want to find out.
It might sound like I'm a Christian with no faith, or weak faith. That's not the case. I'm only a curious Christian. I want my faith to be strong. I don't want my faith to exist only because I was taught about Jesus as a child. I want my faith to be intellectually reinforced. I know it can. I don't know much at all. There's lots of Bible to read, it's a really thick book with tons of information.
What makes me believe is that I can experience love. Love is too great to have just appeared. Love has to come from somewhere, or from someone. There needs to be an origin for this love. Could love have evolved? Do we love our children and our spouses to preserve them from dying out? I guess. But there are also people who hate, and their blood lines seem to have no problem continuing on. So is there any other way that love could have come about other than from God? I really don't think so. I love my wife so much. God's gift to me. I love my son so much. God's gift to me.
So what's our issue as humans? We're flawed. “We're only human”, as the saying goes. Every day we mess up. Every day we do something that we could have done better. I could have been nicer to that grocery store clerk. I could have said “hello” to that person I made eye contact with walking down the street. I could have called someone that I love to see how they are doing, to see if I could do anything for them. I could have given a couple dollars to that guy with the cardboard sign asking for a little help. I could have thought about children, mothers and fathers in other countries who have nothing compared to me. Maybe I could have shared some of my wealth with them. Where's my focus? A Samsung Galaxy S III? The Republican National Convention? The Democratic National Convention? A trip to Hawaii? Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep. Eat. A glass of wine. Sleep. Eat. Movie. Repeat. What am I doing with my life? Where do I improve? What does Jesus say? Jesus says to love my enemies. Jesus says that love is the greatest. Jesus shows compassion. Jesus shows love. Jesus doesn't call you out and focus on your sins. Jesus just says that he loves you. And Jesus proved this love to me. He didn't back down. He didn't bail on me. He took the bullet for me.
That's what the stories say at least. How can I be so sure that this is the case. It's a fairy tale. Right? This Jesus came and left 2000 years ago. He seemed like a nice guy. But what is true? It's hard to tell what is true in the world. There are opinions and ideas flying around everywhere I go. But my faith in Jesus holds to every test I give it. My God died for me. He loves me that much. He thinks about me that much. He cares for me. He cares for me enough that I can tell Him what's going on in my life. I can call out to Him when I'm depressed! I can call out to Him when I hurt! And He cares.
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