how?

I want to be the sun shining over the beach! I want to be a grean meadow in the mountains, with streams and trees everywhere. I'm such a hipocrite! I want to be fresh air for the people I affect. There is so much negativity that surrounds us, and I'm not going to lie, it has got to me. I've even contributed to it. Even though it may seem hopeless, or futile, I want to do good. It's what I want to stand for. I'll dedicate my life to this. I want to...let go. How do I let go? Inside I still want to be selfish. I'm fighting this.