God is Real?

I believe in a supreme being that I cannot see. Why? Why have I chosen to have faith? I'll admit, the main reason is because my parents raised me to believe this way. If the path that I follow is the only path that is true, then how is it fair for people who happen to be born in a Mormon home, a Muslim home, an Atheist home? Well, it's not fair at all. How then can I believe that Jesus is the only way to find salvation? Well, the Bible says that is the way it is. Why do I believe the Bible?

These are all really tough questions for a Christian to ask him or herself. In fact, I would guess that most Christians don't even ask these questions. Many Christians find themselves in a protective Christian bubble. I never wanted this "bubble". So I did my own thing. I did what I wanted. I listened to music that didn't suck. (There is a lot of Christian music that just plain sucks.) I went to parties. I drank. I didn't go to Church. I didn't pray. I didn't read my Bible. I knew that I still sort of believed in God. I ignored it though. I lost my innocence. Sometimes I would hear God speak to me. It sounds crazy, and it is a little crazy. I never heard any audible Old Testament style voice of God. I never saw a burning bush. But God would speak to me in other ways. A Relient K song. In the midst of me trying to please myself God said, "I still love you". I was never happy. I never had joy. For a moment I was joyful, when I would take a shot of vodka. Then in the morning it would fade and all I had left was an empty bank account, a huge hangover and a craving for more cigarettes. And I was left empty. I felt empty.

How can this be? I thought, if there is a god, why would he love me? How can God even exist? People all around me think the idea of "god" is a joke. We don't need a god. The universe came into existence on its own. It's all really unlikely, but it happened. And we're the result. We won the cosmic lottery. There was no god that created anything. We started as single cell organisms, then over the process of billions of years we evolved into different creatures until you get humans. That's just common knowledge.

Stephen Hawking has insight on the idea of a god creating the universe. He says that isn't the way it happened. In the episode "The Story of Everything" he touches on the idea of god. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Into_The_Universe_with_Stephen_Hawking So if he doesn't believe in God, and he's one of the smartest living people on Earth, then why should I believe in God? How can I be so sure?

The fact is that I'm not so sure. I know that God will prove himself to me. I see the joy that God gives me in my beautiful wife. I see the joy God gives me in expecting our first son. I see the joy God gives me in seeing the sun rise every morning. I see the stars and imagine the universe and all the planetary systems. I imagine standing on top of Santa Fe Baldy, or Sandia Peak. I imagine fishing in the Pecos wilderness. I imagine people helping other people in need. I imagine love. The complexity of the human brain. Is the human brain the most complex thing in the universe? It might be.

And why I believe is because I have joy. God brings me joy. I don't feel empty. I fill full of joy! My belief isn't popular. I'm sure people already think less of me just because I'm publishing this blog post. I don't care. What I get in return is far better. I have a community of Christian brothers and sisters who care about me enough to ask me how my week was. That means so much! Just that little amount of effort.

I want to know more. I want to study. God gave me this brain so that I can search and not follow. I'm not just going to be a flimsy Christian. I'm going to be strong. I'm going to know my stuff. If I find something along the way that I think is not right, then I won't be a Christian anymore. The whole Christian story sounds so absurd. But is it so absurd? Did Christ rise from the dead? Well, if he didn't then I have no reason to believe.

Here's a random Coldplay music video. This has some significance in my life, negative significance. But I have the ability to remove the negative significance and replace it with positive significance. This morning I heard on the radio that someone thought of this song as a love song from God to humans. It means so much more if you think about it that way. Sure, our relationships with other humans mean so much to us, but our relationship with God is exponentially greater. He loves us like we love our wives or husbands. The love He has for us is more though. Think of infinity, then think of love. Haha! It sounds dumb, but that's what I do. God has an infinite amount of love for me. And if I find God to be true, then that love is real, and it feels good to know that.

Downtown Walk

Today I took a walk in downtown Albuquerque. Here are some pictures I took. Maybe people will see these 75 years from now and be amazed at how much the city changed.

Rain in the Southwest

It's been raining all morning. I love it! We don't get much rain in Albuquerque. It really is a treat when it rains here. Sometimes, as I lay in bed, I imagine what Albuquerque would be like if the climate were different. I imagine what the Sandia Mountains would look like if it received 100 inches of rain every year. I imagine the mountain completely covered in snow from November to April. Then having the mountain covered in clouds all year getting rain or snow. It would be a rare for me to see the mountain, every so often when the clouds go away. The mountain would be completely green, even though there are lots of rocks. I imagine towering Douglas fur trees. I imagine moisture soaked, cool air. The run off from all of our mountains would make the Rio Grande big enough to rival the Mississippi. We would have giant bridges to let ocean ships cross underneath them. The city I dream Albuquerque to be like might look a lot like Portland, OR.

It's funny, because I've imagined Albuquerque being like this city a few times over the years. Being in the desert isn't so bad. I love being able to see the mountains almost every day. But sometimes I want more variation. I want storms. Snow storms, rain storms. I can do without the wind storms. That's about all we get here in Albuquerque...wind. We get an occasional thunder storm in July and August, and we might get a dusting of snow in January. The cool thing about New Mexico is that the weather isn't uniform for the entire state. The temperature in Santa Fe seems to be 5 - 15 degrees cooler than Albuquerque all the time. Santa Fe seems to get much more snow than we do. I suppose it's our geographical location. We're in a river valley in ABQ against a 10,000 ft mountain. Santa Fe is sitting at 7,000 ft above sea level against a 12,000 mountain chain. Rain here means snow in Santa Fe most of the time.

So, to see some snow, or some thunder storms, I just need to drive one hour north on I-25. Santa Fe isn't Portland, OR. There aren't towering fur trees in every neighborhood. There are mostly shrubby junipers and piñon. But then you drive up to Hyde Park and the Santa Fe ski basin and you'll see some towering pine trees. They aren't as tall as the trees you'll see on the Oregon coast, but they're a respectable size.

Maybe I need to live in Portland. I love that the city has tall buildings. I love that they care about their city there. They want to preserve what they have. It really sucks to say, but Albuquerque citizens don't give a crap about our city. So often, especially on the West Side, I see people just throwing their garbage out of their car window. That pisses me off so much! Care about your city! We all have to live here. Albuquerque has so much potential. It really makes me sad that we aren't living up to that potential.

El Morro National Monument

Today, Lindsey and I went on a mini adventure. We were thinking about going to Magdelena, or El Malpais National Monument. While I was researching El Malpais, I stumbled upon El Morro. El Morro was a great decision. We had such a good time. The weather was perfect (51°f) and the hike wasn't bad at all.
On the cliffs, you could see inscriptions dating all the way back to the late 1600's. I would encourage anyone who is interested to read up on the history.
Here's the link.